Saturday, October 20, 2012

Modern Truths & Sayings

Modern Truths & Sayings -
  • Whenever I find the key to success --- someone changes the lock.
  • To Err is human --- to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
  • The road to success --- is always under construction.
  • Al©ohol doesn't solve any problems --- if you think again, neither does Milk.
  • In order to get a Loan --- you first need to prove that you don't need it.
  • All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
  • Since Light travels faster than Sound --- people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
  • Everyone has a scheme of getting rich --- which never works.
  • If at first you don't succeed --- Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
  • You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down --- it will always land on the buttered side.
  • Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
  • 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
  • As soon as you mention something --- if it is good, it is taken --- If it is bad, it happens.
  • He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
  • If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late --- the bus is still late.
  • Once you have bought something --- you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
  • When in a queue --- the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
  • If you have paper, you don't have a pen --- If you have a pen, you don't have paper --- If you have both, no one calls.
  • Especially for engg. Students -
    If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
  • You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
  • All BMTC buses are crowded.
    Corollary --- BMTC buses in opposite direction always go empty.
  • The door bell or your mobile will always ring --- when you are in the bathroom.
  • After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
  • If your exam is tomorrow --- there will be a power cut tonight.
  • The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors --- until another person is fired or quits.
  • Irrespective of the direction of the wind --- the $moke from the c!garette will always tend to go to the non-$moker

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